In Memorium

It’s funny how life is. You can reach the pinnacle of happiness and then it all comes crashing down. When I went to bed on Sunday night, I had over 1,500 subscribers. On Monday morning, I found out my dearest friend had died. I dissolved into tears. It was a complete shock. Her death was sudden and unanticipated. She left behind so many people who considered her family, even though we weren’t related by blood.

The entire day I was plunged into deep sadness. The hardest part was the thought that I would no longer talk to her over the phone each weekend. And there would be no more emails sharing videos of my mischevious Siamese cat Henry (who likes to steal the sponge out of my dishwasher) or photos of my grand puppies and grandcats.

I still can’t quite intellectually grasp that she has passed away. Did you ever feel like you have a hole in your heart? That’s how I feel when I remember she is gone. Forever. I loved this woman so much. My children considered her a grandmother. She brought pure sunshine into our life. 

And I admired her. After she retired, she volunteered at her local hospital. She adopted a stray cat named Sandy who showed up at her door each morning. She helped countless friends through painful episodes in their lives. I won’t get a Valentines card in February. I won’t see a movie with her. I won’t ever get another phone call or email. I just feel sad. And I know the only way to plow through my grief is to feel it. I can’t ignore it, bury it or postpone it. 

So I am writing this letter now to thank my friend for loving me. “Keep the best memories closest” was the advice I was given by another girl friend. And so I will remember my friend holding my wiggling Siamese kittens in her lap. I will picture her singing at the Christmas concert at Strathmore. I will remember how it felt when she hugged me.

The poet Mary Oliver wrote that “I think of each life as a flower, as common as a field daisy, and as singular.”

My friend was singularly special.

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  • Laci
    January 25, 2019 at 4:54 pm

    I am sorry for your loss. She sounds like the most fantastic friend.

    • admin
      January 25, 2019 at 5:08 pm

      Laci thank you. She was the best of friends and I miss her so much.

  • Carly van Daalen Wetters
    January 25, 2019 at 5:34 pm

    “What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” – Helen Keller

    It sounds like you guys really enjoyed your lives together. My deepest condolences.

    • admin
      January 26, 2019 at 7:07 am

      Thank you sharing this quote. It means so much.

  • Ren
    January 26, 2019 at 1:49 am

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    • admin
      January 26, 2019 at 7:06 am

      she was an incredible woman

  • Shayna
    January 26, 2019 at 5:38 pm

    We encounter too few humans who are this special. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. She sounds absolutely wonderful.

    • admin
      January 28, 2019 at 9:34 pm

      She was an angel.

  • Rene
    January 28, 2019 at 8:59 am

    Terri, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your dear friend. Thinking of you during this difficult time. Peace.

    • admin
      January 28, 2019 at 9:34 pm

      Thank you Rene. Her funeral was today. Peace.

  • Marcus
    January 28, 2019 at 11:09 am

    Thank you for sharing pleasantries about your friend, I’m sorry for her passing and your loss. Your words remind me to be more intentional about my “ word for the year”, “relationships “! To maintain those contacts I frequently take for granted…..

    • admin
      January 28, 2019 at 9:32 pm

      Take time to let the people you love know you care. You will never regret it.

  • AG
    February 4, 2019 at 1:37 am

    I’m so sorry, Terri. May her memory be for a blessing, and may you find comfort in her life-changing friendship. She does indeed sound like a special soul.

    • Terri
      February 5, 2019 at 2:36 pm

      Angela you are so kind to write me. She was indeed a wonderful friend.